My perfect stranger

I found that one person that knew me for me…he found me even before I could come out of my hiding place,he brought me out and told me it was safe out there.. Safe? I walked behind him slowly,trying to peep from behind him,I wanted to know why he was so confident! How did he […]

via My perfect stranger — Ewomablog

My perfect stranger

I found that one person that knew me for me…he found me even before I could come out of my hiding place,he brought me out and told me it was safe out there.. Safe? I walked behind him slowly,trying to peep from behind him,I wanted to know why he was so confident! How did he find me? How did he know I was hiding there? Who leaked my secret?(I have been so curious to find these answers) but then strangely I followed this stranger..(confusingly I trusted this stranger)… I didn’t know where he was taking me but I continuously trailed behind him..he read my thoughts I guess because he suddenly turns to smile at me,places his hands on my shoulder and tells me he has been a hunter in my hide place and has known me like forever,he has heard my silent tears in the darkest of nights,he has heard my #whimpers when tears failed me,he could mimic my laughs!(dazzled) he knew my best meals and had my best songs as a constant rhythm in his heart!…My lovely Stranger was no stranger at all! 

…..at this moment I came from behind him..his face glowed with care,i could feel his smiles from the purest of hearts..(but why have I not noticed this stranger? And why have I felt so safe with him?)…could love be found so true? And could two hearts really be made for each other?…(lost in oblivion) I opened my eyes and my #Stranger was gone! My love ended up a #Fairytale and I wished I had a “happily ever after!
#Princessfegozy

A Struggle With Truism…

I have to run…as fast as my heart can carry me…run so far away from myself! Why does it have to be me?…. Why must everything about me be so complicated?…… I’m not listening to myself this time,my heart is crumbling!(panting) my mind is at war!(shuddering)

…..It has always been me,trying to make things right..I never cared much about how I felt! all I have always done was make others comfortable..even to the detriment of my own happiness! I had to keep it all together no matter what(if only I had known that I was compiling issues for my heart..if only I knew that I was breaking “me” bit -by -bit’)……… Was it really me being *accommodating*? Was it me being *tolerant*and kind?Or was it me trying to be what I’m not?

Aha! It was cowardice! A show of outright *timidity*A Trample on ‘self esteem’ A coward who couldn’t stand up for what she really wants thus she wallowed in the guise of *Simplicity* I had unconsciously become a pretender! The same heart I had wanted to protect have I lured to the garden of *thorns*… just to be *secured* I toyed with *insecurity* I hurt her a lot more because I didn’t want to hurt her!..i acted too perfect to be real for her..(too perfect,too good,extremely holy and always understanding even when no normal being would understand)…i wanted to be that perfect friend for her and ended up loosing my friend…My perfect mistake! …I didn’t know that me not speaking it out just as it was,was me building a bridge..with both of us at each end of the bridge,so farther apart…we’ve been demarcated by an ocean! Only through great risk can we meet so close..

…I can’t continue to reminisce on how wrong I’ve made things be….trying to be that good daughter, fighting to be that good steward,that girl that always made things right while avoiding mistakes….. I have to be less selfish.. “myself” has so long denied my heart of peace! ……I could mend my heart!…being good is not in being *Perfect*! Being good is not in being *Political*! Being good is not in avoiding *Mistakes*!….Being good is in living ‘that Peace’ that comes from being *TRUE* #because only *Truth* could set my heart *free*! And that ‘truth’ has taught me how to love *genuinely*!!

#Princessfegozzy

WORLDS APART!!!

I’ve always imagined the world beyond my views…that drive for exploration! But then i was so scared to venture the world alone…so many beliefs I had to cautiously live with as I grew up..
…As a child, I has a very religious background (Christianity) with a mindset that almost everything apart from being in a religious presence was SIN…
My decisions were conditioned! Yes I had to live by the rules… Rules that had guided my actions and misguided my feelings…
It was hard to tell what I wanted and what I had to do…because what I had to do always superseded what I wanted….(that was the circle of my childhood to adolescent)
Growing up as a young lady,I came in contact with the world…one in which I knew little about.. this world which I so wanted to explore with my infatuated painted imaginations.
I had once met Him and everything felt perfect, I was ready to enjoy every moment together but then my head worked faster than my heart…… couldn’t I just live “that life” where i didn’t always have to think before I act? Where i would just flow with my heart and not with my head? But then no it wasn’t easy to be free from ‘myself’….
…..He didn’t understand how I could just turn him down knowing how much I felt the chemistry between us..(neither did any of them)….
To the ladies, i was “too good” for them #smiles….at a point I tried to mingle# I wanted to be ‘carefree’….a girl that could just go along with the ‘popular trend’…. I had once taught aloud;What is so special about being ‘SPECIAL’?
…But then I got the answer, “though I’m in this ‘World; I am not of this ‘World’
..We were of different worlds that could never be merged,and i was a specie with unique characteristics….i couldn’t live below standard##
…#This is the life that I had a live and wouldn’t compromise for anything.

#princessewoma..

WORLDS APART!!!

I’ve always imagined the world beyond my views…that drive for exploration! But then i was so scared to venture the world alone…

I’ve always imagined the world beyond my views…that drive for exploration! But then i was so scared to venture the world alone…so many beliefs I had to cautiously live with as I grew up..
…As a child, I had a very religious background with a mindset that almost everything apart from being in a religious presence was SIN…
My decisions were conditioned! Yes I had to live by the rules…Rules that had guided my actions and misguided my feelings…
It was hard to tell what I wanted and what I had to do…because what I had to do always superseded what I wanted….(that was the circle of my childhood to adolescent)
Growing up as a young lady, I came in contact with the world…one in which I knew little about..this world which I so wanted to explore with my infatuated painted imaginations.
I had once met Him and everything felt perfect, I was ready to enjoy every moment together but then my head worked faster than my heart……couldn’t I just live “that life” where i didn’t always have to think before I act? Where i would just flow with my heart and not with my head? But then no it wasn’t easy to be free from ‘myself’….
…..He didn’t understand how I could just turn him down knowing how much I felt the chemistry between us..(neither did any of them)….
To the ladies, i was “too good” for them #smiles….at a point I tried to mingle# I wanted to be ‘carefree’….a girl that could just go along with the ‘popular trend’….I had once taught aloud; What is so special about being ‘SPECIAL’?
…But then I got the answer, “though I’m in this ‘World, I am not of this ‘World’
..We were of different world that could never be merged,and i was a specie with unique characteristics….i couldn’t live below standard##
…#this is the life that I had to live and wouldn’t compromise for anything.

#princessewoma

My mysterious superman!!

…. He was my ‘Superman’ and then i was his best friend, he was that shoulder that was always available when I needed to rest(lean on)…oh!

…. He was my ‘Superman’ and then i was his best friend, he was that shoulder that was always available when I needed to rest(lean on)…oh! How natural I could be with him(smiles)…but then how innocent my heart was..damn! I was always in control of my emotions (at least that was what I thought) that feeling when you never for once think of impressing that friend..we could discuss about our crush and tease each other..yes,we treasured our friendship that much!
We forgot our gender difference…##did I just say forgot?…hmmmm #whispering (I think this is where we offended the god of EROS)
…it all began when he started acting jealous whenever I told him about my recent ‘butterflies’…at first I felt it was an act up until I could see the ‘TRAFFICATOR’ so clear…At this moment, I wanted to ignore..I couldn’t bear loosing my bestie..(I had to turn off the green light)…..
He noticed..he wouldn’t want to hurt me for any reason #blushing)…we started drifting apart slowly(sad)….We became so cautious of what we talk about…a wall was already coming between us!
Alas! I was heartbroken… I couldn’t do this. I was already loosing my best friend because ‘I was scared to loose him’
I have to fix this…yes! I was ready to turn on the ‘light’…I had fallen so hard that only ‘he’ could pick me up..
…Finally it has strucked me! I love him..yes! I couldn’t deny it…i wanted to whisper it to his ears, i wanted to scream how much i felt this chemistry…
I could see his face in my mirror…
Even his breath was in every air I felt….I could hear his name when my phone rang…in everyone’s face I could see ‘his face’….he didn’t spare my dreams## I knew it…..
I had fallen in Love with my BEST FRIEND!

##princessewoma

My mysterious superman!!

…. He was my ‘Superman and then i was his best friend, he was that shoulder that was always available when I needed to rest(lean on)…oh! How natural I could be with him(smiles)…but then how innocent my heart was..damn! I was always in control of my emotions (at least that was what I thought), that feeling when you never for once think of impressing that friend..we could discuss about our crush and tease each other..yes,we treasured our friendship that much!
We forgot our gender difference…##did I just say forgot?…hmmmm #whispering (I think this is where we offended the god of EROS)
…it all began when he started acting jealous whenever I told him about my recent ‘butterflies’…at first I felt it was an act up until I could see the ‘TRAFFICATOR’ so clear… At this moment, I wanted to ignore..I couldn’t bear loosing my bestie..(I had to turn off the green light)…..
He noticed.. he wouldn’t want to hurt me for any reason #blushing)…we started drifting apart slowly(sad)….We became so cautious of what we talk about…a wall was already coming between us!
Alas! I was heartbroken… I couldn’t do this. I was already loosing my best friend because ‘I was scared to loose him’
I have to fix this…yes! I was ready to turn on the ‘light’…I had fallen so hard that only ‘he’ could pick me up..
…Finally it has strucked me! I love him..yes! I couldn’t deny it…i wanted to whisper it to his ears, I wanted to scream how much i felt this chemistry…
I could see his face in my mirror…
Even his breath was in every air I felt….I could hear his name when my phone rang…in everyone’s face I could see ‘his face’….he didn’t spare my dreams## I knew it…..
I had fallen in Love with my BEST FRIEND!

##princessewoma